Short Joke | Where is he?
Where the Fuck is Elvis?
I was well happy one night when the rest of the female clowns at the Circus invited me on a girls night out to see none other than Elvis in concert! Whoopee! I threw my best bow tie on and adjusted my clown face paint to “seriously fucken happy” and off we all went with a hop-skip-and-a-jump. Then it all went pear-shaped…..
[In crowd at a concert]
One of the girls shouting: ‘Elvis has left the building!’
Me shouting: ‘What the fuck do you mean, left? He hasn’t started singing yet.’
One of the girls shouting: ‘I think he’s gone to the pub!’
Me: ‘Lazy bastard, I’m not having that…’
*I take to my heels, run to the pub and burst in door*
Me shouting: ‘Where the fuck is Elvis?’ *Points straight at startled barman*
Me shouting: ‘Elvis, where the fuck is Elvis? You know, the guy doing the concert across the road.’
Barman: *Raises single eyebrow and points at Ed Sheeran*
Ed Sheeran: *Holds hands up* ‘I’m just having a pint before the show, alright?’
Me: ‘Terribly sorry.’ *Runs back to concert* ‘You bunch of absolute clowns, you………………he’s just having a pint. How the fuck did you mess that up?’
All of the girls: *Sniggering*
Daily Florence is a writer and cartoonist from the British Isles.